To know wisdom and instruction, to understand words of insight, to receive instruction in wise dealing, in righteousness, justice, and equity; to give prudence to the simple, knowledge and discretion to the youth- Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance, to understand a proverb and a saying, the words of the wise and their riddles. Proverbs 1:2-6

Saturday, May 16, 2015

What I wish you knew about me

I am a dreamer. It is who I am. I don’t want to not be a dreamer. 

It hurts when you try to make me stop dreaming. It hurts when you don’t make any attempt to understand my point of view. It hurts when you want me to change to be more like you. I am NOT you, and me trying to be like you will only serve to make me miserable. God did not create us alike, and I like to think that He gave me this dreaming personality for a reason. I may not do things (or even think about things) the same way you do, but that doesn’t mean I am wrong, it means we are different. It is very likely that “your way” and “my way” are both perfectly acceptable ways to deal with the same issue.

This is not to say that I shouldn’t strive to be better. But being better, improving, and growing doesn’t mean losing myself. 

Believe me, I know there are areas in my life that need working on. Trust me when I say I am VERY aware of my shortcomings and all of the ways I fail on a daily basis. I feel the weight of not being perfect, the weight of causing someone else pain or frustration. I feel it all.

What I need is grace. I need the gospel. I need to be reminded of God’s forgiveness, not how much I don’t measure up to God’s standards, I am already keenly aware that I fall incredibly short. I need to know that despite me, I am loved. That even if you don’t “get” me, that you will still be there for me.

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