I am a dreamer.
It is who I am. I don’t want to not be a dreamer.
It hurts when you
try to make me stop dreaming. It hurts when you don’t make any attempt to
understand my point of view. It hurts when you want me to change to be more
like you. I am NOT you, and me trying to be like you will only serve to make me
miserable. God did not create us alike, and I like to think that He gave me
this dreaming personality for a reason. I may not do things (or even think
about things) the same way you do, but that doesn’t mean I am wrong, it means
we are different. It is very likely that “your way” and “my way” are both
perfectly acceptable ways to deal with the same issue.
This is not to
say that I shouldn’t strive to be better. But being better, improving, and growing
doesn’t mean losing myself.
Believe me, I
know there are areas in my life that need working on. Trust me when I say I am
VERY aware of my shortcomings and all of the ways I fail on a daily basis. I
feel the weight of not being perfect, the weight of causing someone else pain
or frustration. I feel it all.
What I need is
grace. I need the gospel. I need to be reminded of God’s forgiveness, not how
much I don’t measure up to God’s standards, I am already keenly aware that I
fall incredibly short. I need to know that despite me, I am loved. That even if
you don’t “get” me, that you will still be there for me.
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