I read this earlier today:
2 Corinthians 12:7-9
So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Apparently it only took Paul 3 times of pleading before he gave in and figured it was God's will for him to deal with it. I must be a bit thick, I think. Or I have a LOT of growing up to do.
Anyway, I need contentment. To live where God has me now, not living for the future and always only waiting for what I think are greener pastures ahead of me. I need to find joy in my trials, and trust that God is doing a good work in me no matter how much I think it hurts right now. If I am honest with myself, it really isn't all that bad. At least not when compared to hell or the promised future glory.
Live in God's grace and mercy, like a big hug surrounding me. Deep breath. Have peace.